It’s officially playoff time and by some miracle of division gerrymandering the Seahawks are in! I’ve started this blog to discuss my beloved Hawks, football, sports, and various general topics. But this week it’s all about the Seahawks.
For a single, straight man, Sex and the City holds absolutely no appeal (a show about shopping AND relationships!!!) so we content ourselves with watching Sports Center and South Park reruns. But once you get into a relationship, you find the value of the Carrie Bradshaw quartet and their weekly hijinks because it is better than 99% of the shows your girlfriend would otherwise force you to watch. At the very least, it’s a scripted show with plot, character development and comedy, which puts it light years ahead of “reality” programs such as Keeping up with the Kardashians, Laguna Beach, Teen Mom,(no longer Jon and) Kate Plus Eight, or whatever other mindless nonsense MTV and E! are producing. Matt Hasselbeck is Sex and the City. Realistically, you don’t want to see him under center, but would you honestly feel better with the alternatives? Seneca Wallace? Charlie Frye? Charlie Whitehurst?! Now don’t get me wrong, Whitehurst had an adequate game, AGAINST THE RAMS. He does provide pocket mobility and the ability to scramble, neither of which Glass-el-back does without every Seattle fan watching in horror with their fingers covering their eyes and hearing the announcers proclaim “well it looks like Matt has broken another rib.” But Charlie quarterbacked with caution, with only one big play (61 yard reception to Ruvell Martin- and yes I did have to look his name up), and often choose to run out of bounds or throw the ball away rather than risk an interception. Whitehurst is The Hills of the NFL: safe, predictable, and boring (even Lauren Conrad left her own show before the final season). Matt Hasselbeck is the opposite: completely immobile but still daring, a playmaker, exciting, and a leader. Sometimes he has outstanding games (the four girls go to a fancy party and Samantha hooks up with a stranger/partial nudity!) and sometimes he throws four interceptions in a game (Carrie breaks up with Big… again). Either way, he’s the man Seattle wants as its quarterback. Trust me on Matt and Sex and the City. Better than watching Whitehurst feebly trying not to blow it or finding yourself sucked into a Girls Next Door marathon.
New Orleans Saints vs Seattle Seahawks
Interesting storyline #1: Watching how Pete Carroll and Reggie Bush react during the post-game handshake. Which is more likely, Carroll will snarl at Bush and scream “I could have been coaching a real team if it wasn’t for you!” or will he simply laugh and say “How’s that Heisman trophy?” as he kisses his championship rings? Meanwhile, all of Los Angeles weeps because they lost their Heisman winner, their head coach bailed at the first sign of NCAA sanctions, the Trojans have another year where they can’t make a college bowl game, and they don’t have a NFL franchise despite being the second largest populous city in the United States.
As mentioned above, I believe the Seahawks have a better chance of beating the Saints with Hasselbeck at the helm than Whitehurst. Matt had his best game this season in week 11 when the two teams previously met. He threw for 366 yards, 1 TD, 0 INTs in the 34-19 loss. The Vegas line right now has the Seahawks as ten point underdogs and even that might not be enough. But don’t count the Hawks out completely. Here are three reasons that Seattle may have a shot.
1) Drew Brees is having a down year. Yes, most teams in the NFL, including the Seahawks, would love to have Brees at quarterback, but compared to last year’s Super Bowl winning season he’s looked pedestrian. He’s thrown 22 interceptions this season, eleven more than last year, including a shovel pass directly to a defensive lineman in the Monday nighter that was returned for a touchdown. Even the Hawks managed two picks vs the Saints, impressive for a team with just twelve all year, ranked 25th in the NFL. So if the defense can get a few turnovers, the outcome looks more positive.
2) The Saints have had trouble this season when they’ve travelled to the west coast. They barely beat the 49ers 25-22 and lost to the Cardinals 30-20, both teams that are worse than the Seahawks. And everyone in the Pacific Northwest knows what happens when Qwest Field gets rumbling for a big game.
3) Pierre Thomas and Chris Ivory, the Saints top runners this season, are on injured reserve and won’t be active vs the Hawks. Bush is back after an injury prevented him from playing in the teams’ first matchup, but he’s a better receiving back than a runner. The other RB is Julius Jones; yeah, the same guy who the Seattle cut from its team after signing Marshawn Lynch. If the Hawks’ 27th ranked pass defense can control the Saints receivers, then it will force them to run the ball which is not their strong suit.
Interesting Storyline #2: Hypothetically, if the Seahawks pull out the upset and the Packers defeat the Eagles, then Seattle would play the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field, the site where Seattle had its best road victory and was one of only two teams they beat that finished with a winning record. While we are playing the “what if” game, should the Seahawks repeat the magic in Chicago, and Green Bay beats the Falcons, the Seahawks would host ANOTHER home playoff game against the Packers. And if this crazy train keeps rolling, and the Hawks win the NFC title and beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, they would be an outstanding 11-9! Eleven victories! That would be less than Atlanta, New England, Pittsburg, and Baltimore and tied with Chicago, New Orleans, and NY Jets, BEFORE THOSE TEAMS HAVE EVEN PLAYED A SINGLE PLAYOFF GAME. With that in mind, my picks:
New Orleans over Seattle: I’m sorry, as much as I want the Seahawks to win and even with all the points I’ve outlined, I still can’t respectably pick them. The world champions are too strong and balanced, and while I don’t see them returning to the Super Bowl, they will play another round. But be relieved Seattle! At least then Pete Carroll (does anyone else want to start calling him Pistol Pete?) will be able to get back to doing what he does best… finding players he can pay to join his team.
NY Jets over Indianapolis Colts: Peyton Manning is still amazing, but outside of Reggie Wayne his receivers are a rag-tag ensemble, most of whom will likely be out of football in three years. They’ve never had a running game this season and their defense is mediocre at best. Wayne will get caught on Revis Island (worst episode of Lost ever) and Peyton will get frustrated trying to squeeze the ball into tiny windows to covered receivers, regret repeatedly sending Austin Collie out on the concussion route, and then shake his head in disgust after each interception. Plus, Rex Ryan guaranteed the Jets will make the Super Bowl, and he wouldn’t put his foot in his mouth. He’s the sole of the team. The Jets are a step above the rest. (Insert Rex Ryan foot fetish joke here).
Baltimore over Kansas City: The Chiefs are the second worst team in the playoffs, but they do have a few things going for them. They have a balanced offense; Matt Cassel has turned into a legitimate starter, Dwayne Bowe leads all receivers with 15 TDs, and Jamal Charles is the second leading rusher with 1,467 yards. KC’s defense gives up 20.4 points per game, and its offense scores 22.4 points per game. To contrast, Baltimore gives up 16.9 and scores 22.3 per game. The Ravens are one of the league’s top defenses and should be able to contain the Chiefs. QB Joe Flacco passes to the trifecta of Anquan Boldin, TJ Houshmandzadeh, and Derrick Mason- each of whom has over 600 receptions and 40 TDs in his career- and RB Ray Rice has rushed for over 1,000 yards this season. Baltimore was 12-4 in the regular season, which gets them a home game in most divisions, but the Super Bowl Stealers beat them in tie-breakers. Although they must play in Arrowhead Stadium, one of the toughest road venues, the Ravens shut-down defense and solid offense will move them to the next round.
Green Bay over Eagles: This is one of the most difficult matchups to predict and if you’re a gambler I’d avoid betting on this one or you may tear your hair out and be forced into Gamblers Anonymous. This game pits the Eagles’ high-flying offense, led by speedy quarterback/MVP candidate/dog murderer Michael Vick, against the Packers’ top ranked defense. Vick is surrounded by a core of young weapons, including WRs DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin and RB LeSean McCoy, who sound like members of a Scottish bagpipe band from Oakland. The Packers have the second ranked defense, giving up only 15 points per game and allow only 309 yards per game. They are a quick defense too, led by linebackers A.J. Hawk and Clay Matthews, and cornerback Charles Woodson, and will be more equipped to contain Vick than other defenses in the league. The keys to this game will be containing Vick in the pocket to throw the ball and preventing Jackson from making a big play. On offense, Green Bay has great receivers in Greg Jennings, Donald Driver, and James Jones, but their running game has been suspect. QB Aaron Rodgers is a few weeks returned from his second concussion of the season but the Packers are coming off two crucial victories against the NY Giants and Chicago their final weeks to sneak into the playoffs. Both of these teams are powerful and should be contenders next season, but I think the Packers are peaking and Eagles are coasting. Expect Matthews to put the pressure on Vick and the Pack to emerge victorious.
Looks like I’ve picked each wildcard team to win on the road, possibly an argument for realignment or restructuring the playoffs. But I’ll discuss that another week.
Next week: More NFL playoffs and matching QBs to their television doppelgangers.
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