2011 Oscar Picks

The past few years I have had fairly good success at picking who will win the Oscars in the main eight categories. Some of this is an educated process based on analyzing performances, prior awards ceremonies, and popular opinion. The rest is just blind guesses. Either way, I usually pick about six or seven of the eight categories correctly.

In this article, I’ll tell you who will win, who I think should win, and a few Dark Horses that might steal a trophy. The Oscars are a popularity contest as much as an acknowledgement of excellent acting, so sometimes the actors and movies that are best lose to others that the Academy members deem more worthy; either as an award for longevity, never having won before, or being considered more “artsy” than mainstream/blockbuster films.

Who Will Win is my official decision on the winner. Lock it in, final answer, take it to Vegas and bet on it.

Who I Think Should Win is an opinion based on personal preference and taste.

I will provide all the nominees in the category, then give my pick and explanation.

Disclaimer: I have not actually seen all of the movies listed here, so a lot of what I write is based on conjecture, not experience.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

v  127 Hours- Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy

v  The Social Network- Aaron Sorkin

v  Toy Story 3- Michael Arndt. Story by John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich

v  True Grit- Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

v  Winter’s Bone- Debra Granik & Anne Rosellini

Who Will Win: The Social Network

Who I Think Should Win: The Social Network

Dark Horse: True Grit

Aaron Sorkin desperately deserves an Oscar, for this movie and in general. He is certainly one of the premier dialogue writers alive today. True Grit may get some votes just because it’s the Coen bros.

Writing (Original Screenplay)

v  Another Year- Mike Leigh

v  The Fighter- Scott Silver and Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson. Story by Keith Dorrington & Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson

v  Inception- Christopher Nolan

v  The Kids Are All Right- Lisa Cholodenko & Stuart Blumberg

v  The King’s Speech- David Seidler

Who Will Win: Inception

Who I Think Should Win: Inception

If you’re looking for a sure thing, this is it. Christopher Nolan’s movie was one of the top grossing movies of the year, created the most buzz, and will almost certainly have the highest DVD sales of the non-animated movies. And what does it get for all that? Zero acting nominations, no directing nomination for Nolan, and will not win best picture. This is the “Your Movie Was Great, But There Were Too Many Explosions and Special Effects for a Major Award, But Accept This as Compensation” Oscar. These are given out almost every year and Nolan gets it in 2011. We’ll have to wait until the 2013 Academy Awards, after The Dark Knight Rises is released, to see if Nolan will get his due recognition for directing.

Dark Horse: The King’s Speech. It’s very possible that this movie will just sweep through the Oscars, taking down every award in sight. Usually this doesn’t happen, and a few other winners are awarded to keep things balanced, but if it starts looking like The King’s Speech is running away with the ceremony, expect Nolan to get robbed again.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

v  Amy Adams in The Fighter

v  Helena Bonham Carter in The King’s Speech

v  Melissa Leo in The Fighter

v  Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit

v  Jacki Weaver in Animal Kingdom

Who Will Win: Helena Bonham Carter

Who I Think Should Win: Helena Bonham Carter (because I didn’t see any of the other films)

Dark Horse: Hailee Steinfeld

The King’s Speech is like the Yankees; you don’t have to do much because it’s built to win. Helena Bonham Carter does not give her best performance; she’s really more of a role player who comes off the bench as a defensive substitution in the eighth. But because she’s with the winner, all she has to do is sit back, collect the trophy, and celebrate with the rest of her cast.

I just think Steinfeld might win because the Academy has a history of awarding Best Supporting Actress to young first-timers (Anna Paquin, Jennifer Hudson, and Tatum O’Neal).

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

v  Christian Bale in The Fighter

v  John Hawkes in Winter’s Bone

v  Jeremy Renner in The Town

v  Mark Ruffalo in The Kids Are All Right

v  Geoffrey Rush in The King’s Speech

Who Will Win: Geoffrey Rush

Who I Think Should Win: Geoffrey Rush

Dark Horse: Mark Ruffalo

Bale won’t win just because of his association to Batman, Hawkes is an obscure actor in the least popular movie, and Renner was better last year in The Hurt Locker and didn’t win. Ruffalo was charming and funny in his role as the sperm-donor who finds out he’s a father. He may get the “Brokeback Mountain” Oscar, which used to be the “Sorry your film wasn’t better received because it involves a gay couple, but we’ll make up for it by giving a trophy to the straight character” Award.

Rush was amazing in Speech, and his already having an Oscar hurts his chances, but I think he stands out from the other nominees.

Aside: This is a theoretical conversation from ten years ago between Geoffrey Rush and a stranger claiming he can predict the future.

Stranger: “Mr. Rush, in ten years you are going to be a star in one of the most popular and successful action franchises on the planet!”

Rush: “Yeah, ok, sure…” (Rush tries to get away)

Stranger: “No really! Johnny Depp is the lead!”

Rush: “Depp? The guy from Gilbert Grape and Edward Scissorhands? He doesn’t do big budget films!”

Stranger: “In the future he does! He and Tim Burton do crappy remakes of perfectly fine old movies!”

Rush: “Burton?! You’re insane! I’m leaving!” (Pushes man aside and walks away)

Stranger: “No wait! You have to believe me! It’s based on a Disneyland ride! I’m telling you the truth! A Disneyland ride!” (Rush starts running)

End Aside

Best Actress in a Leading Role

v  Annette Bening in The Kids Are All Right

v  Nicole Kidman in Rabbit Hole

v  Jennifer Lawrence in Winter’s Bone

v  Natalie Portman in Black Swan

v  Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine

Who Will Win: Natalie Portman

Who I Think Should Win: Annette Bening

Natalie Portman was great in her portrayal of a ballerina, but rumor is that a body double was used for most of the actual dancing scenes.

Aside- I was totally freaked out by the shots of the ballerinas on their toes. That was FAR worse than Portman pulling feathers from her skin and stabbing herself with glass shards. Made it hard for me to walk out of the theater.

Bening was fantastic in The Kids Are All Right. She had the dubious task of playing the bitchy, hated character in contrast to the relaxed and relatable Ruffalo and Julianne Moore, a difficult task that she pulls off with ease.

Best Actor in a Leading Role

v  Javier Bardem in Biutiful

v  Jeff Bridges in True Grit

v  Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network

v  Colin Firth in The King’s Speech

v  James Franco in 127 Hours

Who Will Win: Colin Firth

Who Should Win: Colin Firth

Javier Bardem and Jeff Bridges have both received trophies within the past three years, while Jesse Eisenberg and James Franco are still young and have long, illustrious careers before them. Colin Firth’s 2011 Oscar would fall under the categories of “rewarding you for an amazing career” and “you’ve been nominated many times but have never won,” except that his performance is simply outstanding and easily the best of the year.

Firth plays the stuttering, stammering King George with such precision you lose sight of the actor and sympathize with the character. He perfects the speech impediment so well that I literally believed Colin had suffered the affliction.

 I’ve heard Franco was fantastic and I really like Eisenberg, but this Oscar is already decided.

You can take this prediction to the bank: Colin Firth will win.

Best Director

v  Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan

v  David O. Russell for The Fighter

v  Tom Hooper for The King’s Speech

v  David Fincher for The Social Network

v  Joel Coen and Ethan Coen for True Grit

Who Will Win: Tom Hooper

Who I Think Should Win: Christopher Nolan for Inception

Seriously, how could Nolan not even be nominated?! Maybe he doesn’t get the absolute best performances from his actors, but I think Inception is so visually spectacular it at least deserves recognition.

Tom Hooper did an unbelievable job in all facets making this film come together. He perfected everything from the acting to the scenery to the costumes to the props to, well, everything else that makes a movie amazing.

Best Picture

v  Black Swan

v  The Fighter

v  Inception

v  The Kids Are All Right

v  The King’s Speech

v  127 Hours

v  The Social Network

v  Toy Story

v  True Grit

v  Winter’s Bone

Who Will Win: The King’s Speech

Who Should Win: The Social Network

This category could really go either way, with both Speech and Network (and Inception, but it won’t win) deserving the Best Picture Award. In the end, I think it will come down to the Academy being filled with older voters who love movies like The King’s Speech for multiple reasons. For one, it is a period piece, which makes it the favorite over the modern Facebook movie because it involves elaborate costumes, sets, and props. Secondly, it is British and for some reason that makes it seem classier. Thirdly, it revolves around one of the most significant events in history, World War II. While I’m not sure how we will look back on the creation of Facebook in sixty years (I’m guessing somewhere between trivial and the beginning of the robot apocalypse), I am pretty sure it won’t live up to “war” status.

All that being said, as long as Facebook remains culturally relevant (I haven’t heard anyone begging for the MySpace movie), then I believe The Social Network will remain the more well-known and popular movie going forward into the future. I don’t think it will be a situation where either movie got absolutely robbed of the Best Picture Award, like Shakespeare in Love beating Saving Private Ryan (by the way, Firth was in Shakespeare in Love, so think about that), but it will be upsetting if ten years from now The Social Network is considered a modern classic and The King’s Speech is the answer to obscure Oscar trivia.

Well, that’s it from me and hopefully some of my predictions come true. That is five total wins for The King's Speech, which is moninated for twelve awards total and will definitely win at least eight. I’ll be watching the Oscars on Sunday with the same intensity as a gambling addict who bet all his money on the Super Bowl.

Next year, I’ll definitely try to see more movies so that my opinions can be more complete.

Grammy Weekend

I've been really busy this week, have started getting sick, and just didn't really have anything I wanted to write about, so I'm just going to talk about last weekend when my buddy Paul and his sister Angie came down to LA to attend the Grammys and visit me. Maryann writes a daily nutrition blog in this style, so I thought I would try it too.

 Grammy Tickets

They won a contest on Kube 93 in Seattle, which paid for their airline tickets, Grammy tickets, and hotel stay. For some unkown reason, the hotel that the radiostation booked was way down in Anaheim, about an hour south of my house.

Map of LA: My house in purple, downtown LA in orange, LAX in pink, and Anaheim in yellow.

So we all figured it would be best if they crashed at my place so they wouldn't have to pay for an outrageous taxi to and from the Staples Center in downtown LA where the Grammys were being held. On Saturday afternoon, Maryann and I went to get them from the airport.

Maryann and I drive to pick them up at LAX.

After we left LAX, we all decided to go to see the Hollywood Walk of Fame and Grauman's Chinese Theatre, where the celebrities place their hand and footprints into concrete.

Paul and I in the front seat with the roof down.

Grauman's Chinese Theatre

The four of us outside Grauman's.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Terminator and former Governor of CA

Hollywood Walk of Fame

With Shrek outside of the Wax Museum

Sunday morining, we went to Toast, a trendy Los Angeles breakfast spot, hoping to see some celebrities. Sadly, we had no luck. But the food was delicious!

Later that day, Paul and Angie got dressed up for the award ceremony and I drove them to the train station, because taking the train is twice as fast as driving through downtown.

Lookin' sharp! (This is outside my apartment)

The Grammys were pretty entertaining to watch on TV and Paul and Angie said they had fun. I enjoyed Eminem, Rhianna, and Dr. Dre, of course, but I think the best performance was Cee Lo Green in a crazy red bird costume surely inspired by Elton John.

On Monday morning, their last day in LA, we woke up and drove to Venice Beach. Venice is very unique. It is not at all the type of beach where you bring a simsuit and towel (you can, I just never have). The Venice Beach strip is filled with small businesses and street vendors. Definitely worth checking out if you're in LA.

 View of the Venice boardwalk.

Muscle Beach: An outdoor weightlifting facility

After Venice, we went to In-N-Out, the best fastfood burger on the West Coast! Waaaayyyyyyyyy better than Dick's. I know everyone in Seattle thinks Dick's is the greatest, but I honestly don't even think its good. Period. Yeah, I'd rather go to Burger King, McDonald's, or Jack in the Box.

All in all, it was a really fun weekend. I especially liked being the guide, instead of the tourist. It made me feel like I had actually become assimilated into this city. Even though Paul and Angie probably left pretty skeptical with my navigation skills. Oh well, I'll be better prepared next time.

Next week I'll try to run a real article. Feedback/suggestions/comments always welcome. Thanks!

Week 6: The Full Super Bowl Experience!

Hey everybody! Super Bowl XLV is in the books and the Green Bay Packers are victorious! Hurray!

First off, I have a confession: I decided to record the Super Bowl while I spent the day at Disneyland with Maryann. I know: I write a sports blog and I didn’t watch the biggest sporting event live. Maryann thought that Disneyland would be less crowded because of the game (this was not at all accurate, the park was packed). Regardless, we had a lot of fun and I didn’t regret the decision, even though Splash Mountain was closed for construction (BOO!). So I woke up the following morning, turned on the DVR, and began watching the four and a half hours I had recorded in case of double overtime.

 I was originally planning to write a column, but instead I decided to be lazy and just post my play-by-play notes, which break down the commercials, halftime show, and random scenes from around Dallas, as well as the actual game. So enjoy reliving the greatest day of the year (okay, I’ll admit that I went back and did some editing). For reference, the black bullets are football related and the white bullets are miscellaneous.

o   I start my DVR and fry some scrambled eggs and hash browns. By the time I’m done cooking, eating, and cleaning, the game has still not started. Thanks FOX.

o   Sam Elliott announcing teams=good/“Roethlisberger has a shot at redemption”=bad

o   Aaron Rodgers has a “Really?!” look on his face as the Glee chick sings line “from sea to shining sea” for like the tenth time in a row

o   Christina Aguilera missing line… flawlessly! Army unflinching, no reaction from stadium or players. Did anyone notice? It’s almost like someone handed her a bad lyrics sheet to study and she practiced skipping over the line, thinking the lyrics were accurate. Weird.

o   Head referee Walt Anderson, coin called tails by Pitt, Neon Deion flips: heads, GB defers.

·         Antonio Brown returns opening kickoff to the 36. Packers force three-and-out. Solid start.

·         Ball goes through Jordy Nelson’s hands. GB punts, can’t pin in five, result is touchback.

o   “Hit ‘em with the Kenny G!” aka Audi’s “escape the confines of old luxury.” Do we really need to see rich people in a luxury jail? This seems offensive and irritating to me.

o   Doritos: man taunts dog with chip, dog runs through door=dumb. Who couldn’t predict that? Later man licks his co-workers fingers, which I find hilarious. 50%; nice save Doritos.

o   Chevy truck=LassyJ “I didn’t even know this town had a volcano!” lol

o   A-Rod being fed popcorn by Cameron Diaz, aka JT’s sloppy seconds. I’m now CERTAIN that this is going to be a good game. The only way this would have been more satisfying is if we caught Diaz injecting Alex with steroids, then using a Benjamin to soak up the blood while A-Rod flexes into a mirror. Side Note: For some reason I feel like A-Rod is going to end up getting a lot plastic surgery after he retires. Can anyone dispute this? Doesn’t A-Rod seem like the kind of person who is just gonna go waaaaaayyyyy overboard with cosmetic surgery, like Bruce Jenner or David Hasselhoff? He is already too tan; an awkward facelift can’t be too far behind.

·         Jordy Nelson TD catch! One hour into my DVR recording. Once again, thanks a lot FOX. Way to milk that pre-game.  GB up 7-0

o   KIA optima “one epic ride.” Aztecs beat aliens, the sea god Neptune, and government? Ok, sure. Whatever. Enjoy 2012 when nothing happens, you paranoid idiots.

·         Nick Collins gets a pick six with pressure on Big Ben, 24 game seconds/6 real minutes after first TD. GB up 14-0.

o   Eminem claymation. “DAMN! That IS pretty good!” Brisk iced tea. Favorite commercial so far. Rumor is Shady got paid a million to do voice over and be animated. “DAMN! That IS a lot!”

·         Flozell Adams out with injury! Another Steeler lineman hurt! (he will return to game later) Worth noting that he was released by Dallas after last season, now playing in Dallas SB for Pitt.

·         Ben hurts his knee and then scrambles for 18 yards on the next play?! Incredible. I pity the unlucky stripper who had to deal with him after the game.

·         Field goal for Pitt with 11:08 left in 2^nd, GB up 14-3

o   Grab some Buds: I love Tiny Dancer! I pause game and listen to it on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRK5vLUYLmg

o   Darth Vader: cute little kid, but I’m unimpressed. I had heard this was one of the better commercials and it just seemed over-hyped.

·         Jareth Bush interception for Packers with 4:28 remaining in half

·         Gregg Jennings TD with 2:24 left. GB up 21-3. Starting to think this game is not going to be the thriller I hoped it would be.

·         Antwaan Randle El 37 yard catch and run to GB 40, two min warning/ 3^rd&10 Hines Ward makes catch for 14 yard 1^st down. Woodson and Shields are now out of game with injuries and GB has to be panicking/ 1^st down pass to Ward for 18 yards/ 1st & goal from 8, TD pass to Ward as Ben avoids pressure in pocket. “Ugh… Floater” (in Gabe’s voice).  GB up 21-10 with 0:39 left in half

·         GB runs out clock-heading to halftime

o   While FOX crew discusses the game, background music in stadium is Black Eyed Peas before they get on stage? Weird. Can’t the people at game just wait a few minutes for the actual show? Was there no other music available? Did Jerry Jones not want to pay anyone else for the rights to their songs?

o   will.i.am animation=not as good as Eminem

o   BEP halftime: mics not working “I Gotta Feeling”(that this is gonna be a lame halftime show)

o   “Boom Boom Pow,” Fergie sounds terrible, cool clothing, sounds like they need new autotuner. This turns out to be only song the other two BEP members get to rap on.

o   It’s Slash on guitar!!!!!!!! (this is sarcasm)!!!!!!!! Fergie sings TERRIBLE rendition of “Sweet Child of Mine,” Axl Rose is somewhere calling his lawyers.

o   “Pump It” will.i.am has a cool metal toupee and I wonder if that’s a viable solution

o   “Let’s Get It Started” shouldn’t this, you know, start the set, or at least the second half?

o   “OMG” smoke and big “Usher” sign in lights as Usher descends from the sky. Did anyone else notice that you don’t actually see him until he’s on stage untying his hand from the rope?! I’m calling fraud. More likely, a stunt double is lowered down and then they switch on stage. Either that or this is the worst video work of a halftime show since a cameraman stayed on Janet’s nip too long. At least Usher’s dancing is more entertaining than BEP, whose only move appears to be walking up and down the stairs. I did like the jumping split over will.i.am, but how much effort went into making sure his pants didn’t have a “wardrobe malfunction” of their own. “Send me your finest nine-year-old Thai tailor! I don’t care how long his little fingers have to spend stitching! Usher has to dance, damnit!”

o   “Where is the Love?” will.i.am changes lyrics to give a shout out to Prez Obama (the only President where it’s appropriate to refer to him as “Prez”). It’s a cool gesture with a noble cause, but the words don’t rhyme, so I can’t give him props. Meanwhile, Fergie literally screams at America, I guess for what she sees as a lack of love.

o   “The Time (Dirty Bit)” Autotune working now, and Fergie can actually sing this one. People with boxes on their heads just baffle me.

o   “I Gotta Feeling” as finale. Tonight IS gonna be a good night (unless you’re a Steelers fan).

o   Expect a bunch of old white rockers next year.

o   More commercials. Ok, I get it FOX. Animation Domination and Glee. I think America’s caught onto the whole Simpsons and Glee crazes. You can stop trying so hard.

o   Ava Childs aspires to be first female NFL kicker. No mention of the tragic story ten years later when she’s definitely not a kicker in the NFL, college, or even high school.

·         GB starts half with Woodson out for rest of game. All of Wisconsin starts to get nervous. And gassy, from too much cheese.

·         James Jones drops pass for GB (this becomes a theme)

·         Bad face mask call where defender has upper jersey. But it was close and I can see why it was tough for the zebras to call it correctly.

o   Beiber and Ozzie commercial=meh. Trying to just have people be funny by acting like themselves rarely works, you need good jokes/punchlines. I think the days of having the word “Beiber” be a joke are behind us. Plus, wasn’t Ozzie popular like ten years ago?

·         Mendenhall runs into camera operator and hurts himself which makes my list of top ten moments. Figuratively. No such list actually exists.

·         Big Ben is scrambling for 1^st down and runs out of bounds a foot short. It’s the Super Bowl! Don’t give up so easily!/Redman is in for injured Mendenhall and rushes inside ten yard line on 3^rd & 1/Mendenhall back in runs for TD on first down/ Pitt closes gap, GB up 21-17

o   Saw new Pirates of the Caribbean trailer. I actually rode the ride twice that day and, without seeing the movie, I can GUARANTEE the ride is better. Suck it Super Bowl. Actual quote from trailer: “they’ll be dangers along the way. Firstly, mermaids… zombies… and Blackbeard, the pirate all pirates fear”. This gets my vote for dumbest trailer line in 2011 (so far). Side note: the animatronic Johnny Depp is eerily similar to the actual actor, while the other pirates barely even look like humans. Shows how far technology has come. And makes me nervous about what plans Japanese scientists have for realistic human robots.

o   Salvatore Guinta is introduced as the only living Medal of Honor recipient since Vietnam. That’s it? No more info about him? How did he win it? This seems like a HUGE deal. After some intense investigative journalism (Wikipedia), I found out that he survived an ambush attack in Afghanistan that had constant gunfire, in which he pulled a few soldiers to safety and chased down retreating Taliban members who were carrying away an injured American. Here’s the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvatore_Guinta

·         Now Nelson drops a pass that would have been a 1^st, then Rodgers sacked by Harrison, GB punts

o   Coke commercial where one ex-soviet soldier draws a crooked line in the sand so another ex-soviet soldier can have a Coke. Heartwarming. Really. Just needs a polar bear.

o   Adrien Brody sings for Stella Artois in a piano lounge, which I think qualifies it to take the “champagne of beers” title from Miller High Life.

o   Car max commercial is actually pretty damn good (I wrote this during the game, but three days later I can’t remember anything about it, which doesn’t speak well for their long-term impact)

o   Simon Cowell is the producer and judge for The X Factor. I knew he couldn’t be off of American television for too long. Side Note: Steven Tyler cracks me up, but apparently he is creepin’ out viewers because last week there was a disclaimer before American Idol basically saying that Tyler would stop hitting on teenage girls. Since the audition rounds are pre-taped, that means the producers have to go through them and edit out any statutory comments. Telling Steven Tyler not to flirt with young ladies is like telling a bird not to fly. For shame America. Second Side Note: How long until Aerosmith capitalizes on Tyler’s exposure and release another album? My bet is before the end of Idol, but not at a time when it has to compete with the winner’s release. So…when they narrow it down to the top four or five contestants. Count on it.

o   Jerry Jones hosts a Grand Old Party in his owner’s box with Emmitt Smith, John Madden, President Bush, Laura Bush, Condoleeza Rice, and other Republicans I didn’t recognize. I shiver as the room gets inexplicably colder. Emmitt feels it too.

·         Big Ben overthrows Wallace/Clay Matthews knocks down a pass, almost a pick/ 3^rd and 13 Big Ben sacked by Zombo/ 52 yard FG missed WIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDEEEEEE left. This a key point in the game. If Rapelisberger isn’t sacked on third down, Pitt is closer and probably goes for it on fourth down, if he’s sacked further back then they punt. Instead, we get to see one of the worst field goal attempts in Super Bowl history.

o   Chrysler commercial: “I got a question for you. What does this city know about luxury?” with Eminem.  Possibly the best of the day. Witnessing the ruins of Detroit, snow everywhere, “Lose Yourself” starts in, then Eminem pulls up to the theater with the choir and says “We’re the Motor City and this is what we do.” Haunting. I have to consider Eminem as a possible Super Bowl MVP candidate.

·         Nelson 18 yard catch to Pitt 40/GB drive ends with a punt

·         Steelers punt and Traemon Williams punches a Steeler in head for trying to push him into the ball. Bad move. He doesn’t even shove back, just smacks the guy. No escalation, just retaliation, which is stupid for the Super Bowl.

·         Woodson is caught celebrating on the sideline then grasps his arm in pain. I laugh.

·         0:47 left in third quarter: Rodgers passes badly behind receiver on first, has to throw away another pass on 2^nd, then 3^rd down pass is dropped and McCarthy throws the red flag, the play is reviewed and confirmed as an incompletion and the Packers punt. At this point in the game, it really looks like the Packers are going to lose. They are only up by four, they have lost their second best defender and second best receiver, Rodgers can’t throw a good pass and receivers are dropping balls left and right.

o   NFL sitcom commercial combines two of my favorite things: football and television shows.

·         Mendenhall fumbles (knocked out by Matthews) Bishop of GB recovers and they start at own 45

·         My roommate Chris borrows my laptop and I stop taking notes for a bit. Not sure of details, but Green Bay kicks a field goal to go up 28-17.

o   Dogs serving Bud Light is fairly humorous, but ends with cliché dogs playing poker. That joke is based on a hundred-year-old painting: it’s dead, let it rest.

·         TD pass to Ward then two-point conversion is an option to Randle El that is good. GB is now only up 28-25 with seven and a half minutes left. This game is getting tense.

o   Dumbest-commercial-that-I-liked-anyways Award: Man is driving his car and swerves to avoid hitting a beaver. Later, it’s pouring rain and the same beaver saves driver from going over a cliff where a bridge has been washed away by chopping down a tree, which the man avoids because his tires are able to stop on a dime. But if he can brake fast enough to avoid a falling tree, shouldn’t he be able to stop before plummeting off the edge of the cliff? Still, I liked the way the man and beaver communicated with head nods. Dumb premise, good execution.

o   Dr. House churro commercial based on classic “Mean” Joe Green commercial. This one was pretty funny, but mostly I included it to mention that being unemployed has made me really good at solving cases on Law and Order: SVU, CSI, and House. At this rate, I think I can be a detective, pass the bar, and become a medical doctor by next Super Bowl

·         Rodgers on third and ten passes 31 yards to Jennings: complete/Starks runs for 14 yards and 1^st down to Pitt 30/Nelson drops ANOTHER pass in the end zone, that’s third I’ve counted him miss. TD would have practically locked up the game, but GB settles for another FG to go up 31-25. Pitt needs to score a TD to win the game.

o   Finally, Kim Kardashian’s Sketchers Shape-ups commercial and I no longer care who wins the game. I WILL NEVER ERASE MY DVR.

·         Pitt in two minute offense: on 4th and 5 from their own 33, pass is an incompletion: game over! Congratulations Green Bay Packers! Supposedly Pitt wanted a flag, proving that they rely on unnecessary penalties to win the Super Bowl like the Yankees rely on cash to win World Series.

·         More confetti than I have ever seen in my life.

That’s it for me. Hopefully you enjoyed this recap as much as the actual game, or at least liked reliving the experience. Everyone enjoys a Steelers’ loss.

Now that football season is over, I have more freedom when writing my column. If anyone has ideas, feel free to send them to me. My mind needs some focus from time to time.

Have a good weekend!